Here you’ll find more than 1500 articles and mini-sagas on entrepreneurship, leadership, creativity and simply how to distinguish yourself.
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Kavitha and I had an opportunity spend the evening with the giants in the world of presentations – two people that have influenced how I create and deliver presentations – Garr Reynolds and Nancy Duarte.
Nancy had organized a get-together hosting Garr at her office. We had an opportunity to meet several wonderful people. The highlight of course was a spell-binding presentation from Garr about his upcoming book – The Naked Presenter. Garr spoke for about 32 minutes – that’s what he said but I just couldn’t believe it. It was fast-paced, fun, interactive and the slides were BRILLIANT!!
There were so many lessons to learn. Here are a few:
1. Respect: The level of respect and appreciation Nancy and Garr had for each other was very clear. There is a lot to learn there. Both of them are BRILLIANT at what they do and they are still learning from each other. Lesson for the rest of the world creating presentations: There is a lot MORE to learn.
2. Giving: Although Garr was speaking about his upcoming book not even once he asked anyone to buy it . I am sure a lot of people have already pre-ordered the book as a case was made brilliantly via his presentation.
3. Humility: Although I have followed both of their work for years but I had never met them. They were both the nicest people to meet and very humble too. Great combination.
4. Grace: There was a question from the member of the audience where Garr was asked to pick his favorite presentation software. Garr’s answer was on the lines that tools were tools and it is YOU and the CONTENT that’s important. The person asking the question followed up again requesting Garr to pick a software – Powerpoint or Keynote to be specific. I loved the way Garr gracefully declined to answer that and moved on.
5. Thoughtfulness: This is for Nancy. There was a question from the audience about presentations and after Garr responded he turned back to Nancy and asked if she wanted to comment on the question. Nancy didn’t blink an eye when she told Garr that it was his day and he should take it all. Knowing Nancy’s work, I am confident that she could have responded to this but she didn’t. It was a lesson in thoughtfulness delivered brilliantly.
Also, the staff at Duarte Design were super-friendly – not surprised at all that they were like that
I have not found someone who loves spam. The feeling everywhere is that spam is bad. In fact, most people detest spam and people who engage in spamming.
So I am sure you are not engaged in spamming people.
You are sure?
Well, are you really sure?
May be in the way you look at a typical spam message.
Let us take a look at spam again.
1. It is a message that is unsolicited
2. It is cold – comes from someone that you don’t know very well.
3. It is mostly generic but looks like it’s personal
4. An action taken based on the email will be useful to the sender or someone on behalf of whom the email was sent.
5. The same action is not very useful to the recipient.
6. It takes time to process that email introducing an opportunity cost.
Now think about an email that you sent to someone that you didn’t know very well where you made a solid case for them to help you with your project.
Now go through that email with the spam checklist above.
Ta Da!
It matches 6 out of 6.
Congratulations for being a spammer. If you continue to do this day in and day out, you will become a Pro soon!
To make it simple – spam is something unsolicited that has a lopsided consumption to contribution ratio.
[ consumption is what you get; contribution is what you give]
If you think someone you know is spamming, gently send them a link to the blog post. May be they will get a hint
Modeling someone that you respect is a great way to push yourself to be better than who you are. Role models help you to set higher benchmarks that will push you to perform better. The beauty of following role models and setting higher benchmarks is that you don’t have to wait to reach those levels to see a marked difference in your life. The journey will produce its own rewards along the way.
So, having the right role models and benchmarks is a double win – a prize at the end and several prizes during the journey.
On the flip side, get the wrong role models and your life can be a mess. All of you are smart to know this and I am sure you will ensure that you will NOT fall for that trap.
It gets tricky when you have a right role model but you choose the wrong benchmark from that role model to follow. The difference is subtle and It is hard to notice it at first. If you make a mistake here, you will take on a journey that will give you a perception that you are on the “right track” for a long time – when in fact, all you will be doing is “getting tired.”
A case in point ( please treat this ONLY as an example )
I was talking to friend about social media and very soon we started talking about Twitter. He was on Twitter for a while and he was frustrated a bit about the fact that hadn’t “broken” the 1000 followers mark yet. He was fascinated by all the people who had hundreds of thousands of followers. His point was that if he took the time to emulate one or two of them he will be on his way to a few thousand followers. He just had to take the time to do it.
Out of curiosity, I asked him to name two or three people that he was totally fascinated by. Upon further prodding, he talked about why he was fascinated by them and why they were his role models. After digging deeper on the topic for a few more minutes, it dawned on him that the people that he was fascinated by needed those Twitter followers to support their core business. It was a “required” part of how they operated in life and business. It was a clear means to an end.
On the other hand, my friend could have done a dozen other things the same time he would have spent getting those Twitter followers. However we sliced it and diced it, we could not find a solid reason for him to have that as part of his strategy to go where he wanted to go.
This is one of those cases where even if he had won, he would have lost in the end.
Now, I am not suggesting that having a LOT of Twitter followers is not worth it. The question is “how much is it worth it for you to spend that time” or asked differently, “what else could you have done in the time you spent on acquiring those Twitter followers?” [May be, may be - if you spend that time where your heart is, those Twitter followers will come anyway ]
To put it another way, you can be fascinated by someone but that does not mean you have to follow everything they are doing. You don’t know the strategy behind all their actions. They are like puzzle pieces in their game. You might see the individual puzzle pieces but only they know how the completed puzzle will look like. They are smart people and obviously what they do is working for them. You can learn from them but do not have to follow ALL their actions unless those actions are aligned to help you fulfill YOUR own strategy.
A mis-aligned benchmark can hurt you in the long run. Only you are RESPONSIBLE to notice the mis-alignment before you make a huge investment.
Kavitha and I had an opportunity to listen to Neal Baer ( Producer of Law & Order SVU) at IDEO recently. You may already know this but every week 58 million people watch one or the other episodes of Law and Order SVU.
Nael talked about many things but the highlight of the talk was the power of storytelling ( especially on the mainstream media ). Neal used several examples and one that I made some notes was an episode about HPV (Human Papillomavirus). The focus area of the episode was to educate that the persistent HPV infections was the leading cause of cervical cancer.
Neal explained how they extended the project in collaboration with Kaiser Permanente by surveying people about HPV before and after the show. The surveys were conducted before the show, 1 week after the show and 6 weeks after the show.
The focus was to find out whether
1. the person had heard about HPV
2. the person could define HPV
3. the person knew that HPV was the leading cause of cervical cancer
As you can see from the interactive chart ( from iCharts) below, the show had made a significant impact on people’s knowledge about HPV. You can also see that the level of awareness about this topic was the highest within the week the show was aired. Six weeks later there was a big dip but compared to the awareness before the show, it was a significant jump.
That is the power of storytelling right there.
Also looking at the dip after a few weeks, you can also see the need to tell the same story again and again.
Data can tell powerful stories too. You can check out a few stories here:
Every human being is different and connecting with another human being will require some investment of time, energy, mindshare and of course, there is an opportunity cost always – you could be doing something else right.
Here are the nine components to consider:
1. Character: Connecting or not, a strong character forms the foundation on which trust can build. Without that, it will be a herculean effort to make headway.
2. Commonality: Identify the common elements between you and the other person and you have taken the first step to building rapport.
3. Curiosity: If you are not curious about who you are connecting with, you will talk rather than ask. And, nobody wants to listen all the time
4. Conversation: You have to start a conversation with the other person. Earlier it had to be via phone call or email. But today, you have a lot more avenues to begin a conversation.
5. Cost: Watch the cost for the other person to engage in the conversation. If you make it too high, you might have a n non-starter
6. Curation: Building connections is a lot of hard work. Rather than taking baby steps with a lot of people, you can “curate” first and make the right choices before making those investments.
7. Commitment: I continue to believe that there are only two kinds of relationships. One is long term and the other one is very long term. Very long term ones trump the long term relationships. Better yet, commit to lifetime relationships so that you don’t even get a funny idea to take advantage of the relationship.
8. Compassion: You are human and the other person is human too. Mistakes happen and what counts big time is the intentions behind the actions. Have the compassion to understand that the ups and downs of a relationship.
9. Caring: The real bonding happens when you authentically care for what the other person cares about. Not faking it but really caring for what the other person cares about. It is magical.
Three Bonus Elements
( If you have the time for more that is…)
1. Charisma: It’s hard to define it but everyone knows when they see someone who has it. It is one of those magical powers that has the ability to influence and persuade you.
2. Confidence: If you are not confident, you will start leaning more on others for support. Nobody wants to play the role of a “permanent crutch” in your life.
3. Clarity of Purpose: It is so important to have a clarity of purpose but it is a hard thing to do. But in case you are one of the special people who does have a clarity of purpose, you make it easy ( BIG TIME ) for the other person to engage with you.
Free Download: Lasting Relationships
If you have not downloaded a free e-Book on building lasting relationships, here is the link to that page
You can skip the assignments but you can’t skip the consequences of skipping the assignments.
Mini Saga #59 – Assignment
Jack got a bit carried away during his school days. He outsourced all his assignments. Born to rich parents, there was money to get the grades he needed to get through. The problem started when he started working. The grades he had weren’t sufficient to get the money he needed.
Note:
1. A mini saga is a story told in exactly 50 words. Not 49 or 51 but exactly 50.
Self-deprecation is simply under-valuing one’s own talent or abilities. It is to show that you have a low opinion of yourself. Generally, it is an indication that you have a low self-esteem. At an extreme it shows that you have an inferiority complex.
This all looks so negative and how could this be remotely of use when you are trying to distinguish yourself.
The trick is to use it right.
If used right, it can be a powerful way to build rapport and get closer to people.
Why?
(If used right) self-deprecation brings out the human in you and the other person would rather connect with that “human” than connecting with your “corporate avatar.”
How do you design this?
Here are some areas to think about:
1. Self-deprecate in the past:
For example, You can talk about something foolish you did when you were a student. Everyone has done something foolish when they were young – so they can recollect their own follies.
2. Self-deprecate in your area of strength:
If you are a good negotiator, you can talk about how you goofed up in a negotiating situation. Everyone knows that people goof up even in their area of strengths. That gels well.
3. Self-deprecate in an area where people commonly goof up:
Common gaffes and goofups are accepted and only show that you are just like anyone else.
4. Self-deprecate in an area where you have moved on:
People move on and you can talk about areas that didn’t work well for you decided to move on. You can share the pain and sufferings by going after something that didn’t work for you is something people can relate with.
5. Self-deprecate in an area where you were ignorant:
Like an experience during your first startup. There would be so many things that you would not have known without experiencing it first time. Everyone stumbles on something first time especially if it is something significant you are trying. People understand that and can relate well with it.
Self-deprecation is a sensitive area where I don’t want to point to other examples, so I will share my own story where you will see several attempts of self-deprecation ( yes, I have goofed up a lot! )
What is that stumbling block that prevents you from getting started on your pet project (seriously)?
When I say seriously, I mean you put something of value at stake – typically money. The other soft items that you may not notice are something like time, energy, mindshare and opportunity cost for engaging with this project. But money is something simple to track. You don’t have your friends ridicule you for investing your energy and mindshare on something – but if you lose money on a “stupid” project, you might get some flak for that.
So, what is that stumbling block that will prevent you from making a big push to “invest” your resources (including money) on the project that you are sold on?
It is the elusive search for certainty.
You want to be sure of the results. Just sure enough that you have a pretty good chance of making it. The pretty good chance should be close to 100%. Once you have this safety net, you are willing to up your stakes. Unfortunately as long as you want this certainty, you won’t take the next step – because there simply is no way to get that certainty.
Search for certainty is a trap. Nobody can have it and nobody will ever have it. You can increase your odds to win but you can never get that 100% guarantee you may be looking for. If that same effort you are putting to get that guarantee can be invested in pursuing your goal, you might be able to move the needle a bit.
In the introduction to the book “CLINT: A Retrospective” by Richard Schickel, Clint Eastwood shares this:
“Looking back, I suppose I’ve made a few pictures I probably shouldn’t have. But you don’t know that going in.I’ve always said that I have no idea whether a movie is going to be a success. My criteria when committing to a picture are simple: is it something that I’d like to work on or I’d like to see? So far, that’s worked out very well. I’ve been able to work a very long time at something I love doing and see no reason to stop.”
That’s just one example there. Read about other successful people writing about their past and the pattern is almost the same. They had no guarantees when they started their journey but they ploughed ahead anyway. That made all the difference.
Here are some ways to get out of this trap (warning: none of these will happen in the short-term)
1. Start becoming comfortable with uncertainty: Rather than trying to be certain, start getting comfortable with uncertainty – that way you are not stopping at step number one and mentally charting your way to reach the goal.
2. Get good help: Your ability to execute is more important than your ability to generate new ideas. Execution is where the rubber meets the road. The chances of executing well is directly proportional to the amount of good help that you have at your disposal.
3. Start providing good help: For the rest of the life, if you can focus on providing “good help” to others who are pursuing their ideas and one day part of it might came back. The best way to change your world is to help enough people change theirs
Lastly, remember that 100% certainty would be simply boring. The mystery is what makes everything fun. So please enjoy the uncertainty and mystery!
Here is the answer for those of you who are in a hurry:
In short, you need to first build a case to make a case. You need to raise awareness to the related issue or opportunity so that someone is open to you making a case on a topic.
Now a longer explanation.
I am sure you have faced this situation before. You strongly believed in something and made a compelling case to get an approval ( may be from your Boss ) but you get turned down instantly. You had thought through every single aspect of the project but for some reason the other person did not see this project the same way that you did.
There are many reasons for not getting buy-in (including “You” being one of the reasons) for your idea but if you don’t build a case before you make the case, the other person simply won’t be open and excited to listen to your case.
How do you know you have successfully built a case to make a case?
You know it when the other person is “eagerly looking” for someone to make a case. The other person is aware of the issue or opportunity to such an extent that he or she wants to do something about it.
How do you achieve this?
A few days ( or weeks or months ) before you make the actual case, you start talking about things surrounding the issue or opportunity. You present data/evidence/trends related to the topic in regular intervals and show why this topic is relevant to the other person. It might start off as a one-way street for a long time before the other person starts to engage in deep conversations related to the topic.
When these conversations reach a critical mass, the stage is set to for you to make the actual case.
Things take time and that is just the way it is. If the case you are making is important for you and the other person the time investment before making the case is well worth it.
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