Comments on: Why some smart people don't help other people?

By: ...

... — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:13:00 +0000

Rajesh, Hello I know this has nothing to do with the subject of your post or for that matter any of your interest, but I am hoping (and I would like to thank you wether you do respond or not) you could help me out with a problem that has truly been bugging me for an extremely long time. Also to you and anyone who might read the comment, I am not trying to sound as if I am bitching (excuse the word) or I am insecure, I am neither of those things. My problem is that people through out my life have been calling me smart and as strange as I am, it really bugs me, not because I think I’m stupid, I am not,but I don’t feel smart. My grades are not only bad but they are getting even worse, and the thing is every year I try more and more and every year it gets worse and worse. I would figure if I am smart I would at least be passing a few classes. Not only that by my reading skills are slower than a slug is actually fast when I read for a whole hour and get 20 pages done. Again I hate to be called something I am not, I am better at dealing with the truth than
with a lie, because with the truth I have something to work with. My question is if you know a way that I can prove to people that I am not as smart as they think I am. To be honest I would think that they are actually lying but that makes no sense due to the amount of people that tell me I am smart.

By: Ben Werdmuller

Ben Werdmuller — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:34:13 +0000

From the title, I came to this post expecting it to be one of those “smart people live in their own world and obey their own rules” pieces that have been doing the rounds lately in places like Hacker News. But this is completely relevant, to the point, empowering, and genuinely helpful. Thank you!

By: Chris Garrett

Chris Garrett — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:34:04 +0000

Great post, this area of being accessible while valuing your own time (and sanity?) is one of the (many) things that Liz Strauss has had to remind me of. She suggests there are people and types of requests you act automatically and generously for, while there are others where the other person really should realize they have crossed the line and should be pointed to your rate card

By: Rajesh Setty

Rajesh Setty — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:28:11 +0000

David,

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views.

Have a great weekend.

Best,
Rajesh

By: David

David — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 09:54:36 +0000

Great post. I’d have to agree with Dave on the gratitude. It goes a long way.

I also won’t help at times because the requester is being lazy. My response has sometimes been: “Sure, it’ll take me 5 minutes but it took me 3 hours to do it the first time too. So you either try your self or be prepared to pay a rate equal to 2-3 hours of my time”. If they can’t see the logic in that, they can move to another solution giver.

Ultimately it’s ME who needs to dictate my charity jobs. Not another persons lazyness. I’ll give myself an amen for that!!

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Fri, 26 Mar 2010 13:49:57 +0000

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By: Markus Tamm » Blog Archive » Links 26.03.2010

Markus Tamm » Blog Archive » Links 26.03.2010 — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 08:27:57 +0000

[...] Why some smart people don’t help other people? (Rajesh Setty) [...]

By: Rajesh Setty

Rajesh Setty — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 05:23:24 +0000

Thanks Dave.

Totally agree with that. Being “polite and appreciative” is on the other end of “feeling entitled.”

Most people confuse “access” to “entitlement” and that’s where all the confusion begins.

Best,
Rajesh

By: Dave Taylor

Dave Taylor — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 03:40:22 +0000

I’ll give you a simple one too, Rajesh: if you are asking someone for help, be polite and appreciative. I get a surprising number of queries that are just “I have this question: how do you….” or similar. Same question starting with “Love your stuff, and I know you’ve written about this before, but I think my situation’s a bit different. What’s your though on …”

And I don’t think this has anything to do with smart people either. I think even dumb people who are in the public eye must face the same basic dilemma too: do you “give away” your time to others who often aren’t even particularly polite or appreciative, or do you draw the line somewhere and say “I field a question a day” or “I answer some on my blog” or even “sorry, I’m just too busy” ??