http://www.rajeshsetty.com/2006/11/08/how-would-you-handle-him/ Entrepreneur. Author. Speaker & Alchemist Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:43:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.rajeshsetty.com/2006/11/08/how-would-you-handle-him/comment-page-1/#comment-843 Anonymous Fri, 10 Nov 2006 23:29:00 +0000 http://www.blog.lifebeyondcode.com/2006/11/08/how-would-you-handle-him/#comment-843 Great point there Mike. If you can point to any references to the work of Kegan and Lahey, that would help the readers. Thanks in advance. Best, Raj Great point there Mike.
If you can point to any references to the work of Kegan and Lahey, that would help the readers.
Thanks in advance.
Best,
Raj

]]> http://www.rajeshsetty.com/2006/11/08/how-would-you-handle-him/comment-page-1/#comment-842 Anonymous Fri, 10 Nov 2006 23:26:00 +0000 http://www.blog.lifebeyondcode.com/2006/11/08/how-would-you-handle-him/#comment-842 An interesting thought, but if it was as easy as "just stop doing it", we'd all do it. Current neurological research shows that we actually get neurologically locked into a pattern - "stopping" a pattern isn't that simple. It's important to identify a replacement behavior that gives you the same secondary gain. Kegan and Lahey did some interesting writing on this - they called it "Transforming Complaining into Commitment", and provide an incredible reframe for the behavior that can allow you to find secondary gains. An interesting thought, but if it was as easy as “just stop doing it”, we’d all do it.
Current neurological research shows that we actually get neurologically locked into a pattern – “stopping” a pattern isn’t that simple. It’s important to identify a replacement behavior that gives you the same secondary gain.
Kegan and Lahey did some interesting writing on this – they called it “Transforming Complaining into Commitment”, and provide an incredible reframe for the behavior that can allow you to find secondary gains.

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